Friday, May 18, 2007

memory: books

What I remember is libraries. Bookshelves. Stories. I can still see the libraries and the bookstores I went to when I was growing up. I can remember the bookshelves in the houses where I lived. I can't remember much else of anywhere growing up, but I can remember all of the places with books.

The only librarian I remember very clearly is the school librarian from my grade school. I spent a lot of time with her. I would go to the library instead of the gym at recess when it was raining. I went to the library almost every day after school when I was in the fourth and fifth grades. The library was a safe place for me.

I used to love summer, because it meant I could read as long as I wanted to. I remember the first time I stayed up past midnight reading a book. It was "Little House on the Prairie."

I used to read walking to and from school. I read every chance I could get. I could escape into a book. If I was reading, everything around me would get quiet, it was like I wasn't there any more.

Then I got older, and sometimes the stories in a book weren't enough. So I made my own stories. I made stories so I could fall asleep. Those were the first stories I made, when I was still little. Then I made stories that I wrote down, but mostly, they were just a way to keep notes for the stories I told in my head. Writing them down helped to keep the stories more real.

I still read. When I read a book, I can remember the other times I read the book. I can remember holding the books; I love the feel of books. I love the smell of books. Nothing feels so safe as to have a whole stack of books I haven't read yet, plus another stack of books I have read over and over. A book is the safest place I can think to be. Sure, sometimes bad things happen in books. But the ones that I like to read, the ones where I can really escape, nothing STAYS bad. It's always all right in the end. Even when things are hard in the middle, mostly the people I care about in the books make it through all right.

Other people might remember other things, but all I remember is reading.

I don't really have a name, but the little kids call me the story girl, because that's what I do. I don't even really have an age; sometimes I'm pretty little, like about nine, and other times, I'm a teenager. I guess it depends on who needs to get away the most. The others read, too, but I'm the one who lets them really escape between the covers of a book.

2 comments:

Kathryn said...

I read a lot when I was growing up. I still do. Books were my way of escaping from the reality of my everyday life. I loved the Little House books. I loved the classics. I loved getting science books out of the library and learning new things.

Books were the one thing that kept me sane.

Jigsaw Analogy said...

Books were what kept me off drugs. I joke about it, but I can see all of the addictive behaviors with books that other people get with drugs or alcohol. But no one criticizes you for reading too much.