A very good book!

Here is a link to a very good book called The Monster At The End of The Book. If you have not read it before then definitely you should. It is very funny and I like it a lot. I bet you will like it too. In the story, Grover from Sesame Street is afraid about the monster at the end of the book and he does not want you to turn the page, but I bet you WILL turn the page if you are curious about books!

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Snow day!

Today was a snow day we are so happy about that caues it is from we asked for there to be a lot of snow there was hardly any snow all winter long and almost we thot there wuld not be any snow at all this winter ecksept just a little bit but then there was all most a FOOT of snow. we did not think ther wuld be a snow day tho caues they all most never give a snow day here then ther WAS a snow day so w stayd hoem and we playd in the snow also we had hot chocklit and chocklit otemeal for brekfast it was yummy the hot chocklit was a snack after we playd in the snow not for brekfast.

We are happy about the snow not just caues we wanted it also from we ASKED for it and we got it ivy says ask and ye shall receve that is from probly the bible or maby somwher els i do not no for sure. it means if you ask then maby you will get soemthing lots of pepul asked for a snow day then they said it was a snow day but i am maby the onley one who asked for about one foot of snow and then i got ecksactly that.

I do not always get wat i ask for liek i askd for a puppy with curly ears i did not get one singel puppy but that is ok a puppy is a lot of WORK i fond out caues up stars has a puppy they do not taek good car of it they tie it up out sied it is very sad i do not want to do that it is to meen but if i was to buzy to taek car of it probly i wuld do that so i will just hav a maginary puppy or else one that is a toy. i will hav to find a frind a diffrent way from a puppy i think that is better.

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iGoogle

We have found out something very neat. What we found out is you can make different TABS on your iGoogle page and then every tab can have different stuff on it and a different theme. This is super cool cause it means that we can make a home page for us that is different but it's the same page.

Like we just made a page for me and Jewel and Rain and maybe Amanda if she is not to grown up today. It has fairy games and coloring and stuff like that. But also there is a page for the grown ups with things like calendars and to do lists.

There is very cool stuff to put on your iGoogle page. You can have games or organizing stuff. And you can make a tab for every part if you want and then that person can just click on their tab and they have all of their things right there. And they can look at a page that is just for them.

The best thing is it is free!! You do not have to pay even a little bit, and you can put neat stuff on there. And also because it is online that means if you are on someone else's computer then you can have your page, and then it will go away when you are not on their computer because you will not stay signed in on Google.

All you have to do is have a Google email or something then you sign in and then you make a page for every person!

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Foke festivel

I wuld liek to riet about going to a foke festivel. We went to a foke festivel last week. It was fun espeshully caues the pepul at the foke festivel were super nise they did not tees a persun if they were diffrent insted they were nise.

Also ther is lots of music at a foke festivel we saw soem music we liekd and also soem music we did not all liek but it was ok caues we only had to pay a littel of money to go and it was fun mostly.

But then the foke festivel got too ECKSITING. that is caues of the wether. the wether was STORMS. it was a storm of LITNENG and THUNDER and HAIL!!! that was TOO ecksiting caues then things like TENTS fell down not just littel tents but also BIG tents liek where lots of pepul were going to eat. also ther was all most a FLOOD caues of the rain. that is how ecksiting it was.

I liek a foke festivel mostly. i liek the music. also i saw soem shooting STARS and thos are my favrit. they are so cool! i liek to see thos and then i make a WISH on them liek in the song about you maek a wish on a star that is wat i do.

I gess that is all for riet now. ther was soemthing els i wanted to riet about but i do not remember that is ok. maby i will get to riet later ok.

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we enjoyed this video

lots of parts have other things to post, but for right now, i'll share this video, which i think pretty much all of us liked.

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The zoo!!!!!

O boy! i had SUCH an ecksiting day to day!!! i got to go to the ZOO with some FRINDS. they are pepul from my group for pepul liek me, also they have other pepul insied of them.

We had fun!!!! we got to see lots of animuls. it was not a super big zoo just a littel one that was good caues it was HOT to day and i think i wuld have got to TIRED at the big zoo but maby one tiem we can go to the big zoo to gether i did go to the big zoo one tiem with one of the pepul and maby we can go again i have a zoo member that is how i can get in for FREE and also one other persun plus w she can go for free to!!!!

Today we saw neat animuls. There were PINGWINS i liek them and puffins and also poller bears. ther is a pickchur of the poller bears at the top i used my phone to make that pickchur so it is not super good but i can go a nother tiem and probly ellis or soemone will take more pickchurs.

We had SO much fun. i liek thos pepul we went to the zoo with i hoep they liek me to. probly they do they are nise pepul.

I liek to have a zoo member caues then i can go to the zoo when i want but only i liek to go if i have a frind to go with me caues then it is more fun. also i can go to the kwariem. i went to the kwariem a littel bit ago again with w we saw thos animuls again liek the walres and the the fish and stuff. also the sea lien show at the kwariem is more intresting than the one at the zoo.

I hoep i can go to the big zoo soemtiem also with thos pepul i saw to day caues i liek to go with them they are fun to go with and they are not so gron up as w all the tiem. w is very nise but she only is a gron up and it is fun when i go with a persun who is also littel insied.

W caem back from her thing she was away at for ONE HOLE WEEK!!! i missed her mostly befor i did not miss a persun i just did not mind so much but this tiem i missed w super much and now she is hoem. she was still gone this morning so that is why she did not go with us to the zoo but next time probly she WILL go.

bye.

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wallpaper

i don't know what's up today, but i swear, the wallpaper on my computer has gotten changed about five dozen times today. normally, the wallpaper on the computer stays the same for months or years on end, but different parts have been grabbing the computer mouse as the slideshow of pictures plays on my google sidebar, and clicking "set as wallpaper" every few minutes.

no real point to sharing that, i guess. but it's getting a little crazy for me. crazyER.

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memories and monsters

had an interesting conversation (does it count as a conversation if it's all in my own head?) with the part who was out in therapy yesterday. not quite sure who it is. maybe one of the nonnys, but not completely sure. i think she's probably eight or nine, just based on the images i get when she thinks about things.

anyhow, she'd been talking with my therapist about how it is really dangerous to play, and how it's like there is a certain number of times you can play when nothing will happen, and you never know how many times that is, but if you play one too many times, then it will make the bad thing happen. same with not remembering all of the little things they do to keep safe.

her logic as to why things haven't been as bad since i left home is that maybe they just got better at being able to be careful, and if they *stop* being careful, then the bad things will happen.

after therapy, i was trying to get a sense of what exactly they mean, when they worry about "bad things." and this one gave me some interesting information. i don't think that they actually experienced the abuse directly. from the perspective of some of these parts--the ones who are super careful about following lots of "rules" and stuff like that--what they experience is this:

they miss some particular step or magic thing or make some kind of mistake. then they feel dread and fear about what is going to happen. then they "wake up" in pain, or they have more "nightmares."

and the thing is? i have fibromyalgia. i wake up in pain a LOT of the time. so now i'm trying to explain to them the difference between how i wake up in a lot of pain now, and it's not the same as when they were little. i point out that i *don't* wake up with bruises i don't know the origins of, that kind of thing. but... it's hard to explain the difference, because to them, it seems pretty similar.

what's funny is, they don't seem fazed by pain if they know where it's coming from. i was weirded out yesterday because i seemed to have a blister that i didn't remember, and then all the kids told me where it came from, and they didn't mind that at all.

and the nightmares... if all they remember is "nightmares," how can i explain that the things that happened when they were little weren't the same? that *those* things actually were happening, but the terrors they have *now* of nightmares are memories, and not actual "monsters."

but at least now i have more of a sense of why they are so nervous.

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New stuff!

We put new things on our web site at the littles pages. There is a new part of Amanda's story and also some videos from our trip to the aquarium. Hope you like it!

Oh, also, there is a link now on the side that will show you when we make new posts over there, so if we don't remember to write about it on the blog, then you can just look there, and you will see if we put up a new page, ok?

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There was a cool street musician tonight

Here is the video. We can't figure out how to make it show up on here without uploading it somewhere else, so I'm just putting a link. I think it starts to play as soon as the link loads. I don't know if everyone's computer will show the video, but I hope you can hear it. It was pretty cool. I bet you'll know the song. It was a surprise to hear that song tonight! It made us smile.

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dance party in my head!

this post is mostly to see whether it actually works to "share" music from rhapsody.

one of the things we've found in my system is that some tasks (say, washing dishes or making dinner) go more easily when we take that time to have an internal dance party. i'll listen to music, either on the stereo or in my headphones, and whoever wants to can hang out dancing. the little kids especially like this. it's also been a way to get in touch with the baby, because usually someone will go find her and bring her to the dance party. not sure how she experiences it, but they usually make a point of including her.

so here are today's tracks from the dance party in my head:

Here's a link. Not sure how it works--I'm guessing you have to have an account, and they say free accounts still let you listen to 25 tracks a month without paying.

And here is the list of tracks:
1. sing, Shout, Dance - Kingdom Heirs
2. I Love To Laugh - Sweet Honey in the Rock
3. Philadelphia Chickens - The Bacon Brothers - Sandra Boynton
4. Hush-A-Bye Hard Times - Dolly Parton
5. Still Gotta Get Up In The Morning - Sweet Honey in the Rock
6. Magellan - Broadside Electric
7. Rock-A-My Soul - Acappella
8. Busy Busy Busy - Kevin Kline - Sandra Boynton
9. Do What the Spirit Say Do - Sweet Honey in the Rock
10. Be Like A Duck - Keith Boynton - Sandra Boynton
11. Still The Same Me - Sweet Honey in the Rock

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The Easter bunny

Yesterday in the morning time the little kids here were super disapointed cause the Easter bunny did not come and leave us a basket. but Ellis said if we did not SAY we wanted a basket then we would not get one, and she did not know we wanted a basket so she did not tell W we wanted a basket. so we were disapointed.

We did not say about wanting a basket because we thought probly the Easter bunny would KNOW we wanted a basket and then we would get a basket that way cause the Easter bunny is MAGIC and a magic thing knows when someone is a little kid inside and will need a special thing like an Easter basket. But maby it is diffrent if you live in a stupid grown up body.

But then!! O!! What a suprise! We went to W's sister's house and she had a present just for US! Gess what?!? It was just like an Easter basket only she did not mean it to be like that, it just was. That is how we know the Easter bunny helped cause W's sister maby would have given us the present a diffrent day or she would not have the present.

She gave it to us just cause she is a nice person and she likes to give pepul presents all the time cause she likes pepul to be happy. She is a very nice persun.

What the present was is three very big BEE YOU TEE FUL cookies. They are decorated with sparkly stuff. They are a lion, a monkey and an elefunt. They are soooo beautiful. O! we love them very much! Probly we will eat them soon cause that is what you do with cookies. But first we will be happy to have these beautiful cookies. They came in a fancy bag with ribbons and paper grass. That is also how we know it is an Easter bunny thing.

O! It was so nice for her to give those to us! You do not have to give us a present to be nice to us, but when we get a present it makes us soooooooooo happy!

Thank you so much!

PS-We cwaperated on this post caues we all wanted to write. We are getting GOOD at cwaperating!

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