April is Child Abuse Awareness Month

We all know children, and it will serve them well if people remember to keep an eye out for them, and do what we can to keep them safe. Do the children in your lives a favor, and make sure you know the signs--not every abused child acts out in ways that call attention to their problems, but symptoms do show up.

I will add my own two cents, from my own experience: abusive parents aren't evil, and I don't think they even necessarily intend to cause harm. For the most part, abusive parents still love their children, but are overwhelmed, or stressed out, or are unable to recognize that their behavior is inappropriate because it simply mirrors what they, themselves experienced. If you suspect a child you know is being abused, be supportive of the parents, rather than condemning them.

Given the specific issues that I have as a survivor of child abuse, I think the following list (from this page) is especially pertinent. It lists the symptoms of child abuse, with a strong awareness of dissociative responses.


As they note, the list is not comprehensive, and it is more a "things to watch for" list than an absolute indicator.

ABC's of abuse

* Abnormal body awareness, numbing, detachment (depersonalization and/or derealization)
* Abrasions or cuts appearing on the body which have no apparent reasonable explanation
* Ambidexterity; evidence of different writing styles, widely fluctuating drawing abilities
* Asthma
* Auditory hallucinations (hearing voices, usually "inside" head)
* Behaviour that does not appear "normal" e.g. severe anxiety around other children or adults, antisocial behaviour in the form of hostile aggression or withdrawal behaviour accompanied by depression.
* Belief that his/her soul is "lost", "sold" or "possessed"
* Behaviour which indicates apathy or depression
* Behaviour which is antisocial and hostile in nature
* Bruises or welts appearing on the body, especially those which reveal the shape of some object which was used to produce them. e.g. sticks, belts, buckles, electric cords, a hair brush, etc.
* Bruises which are unexplained or located on parts of the body which usually do not get bruised through the bumps and falls of a child's everyday living.
* Burns caused by rope friction, usually found on legs, arms, neck or torso as the result of having been tied up.
* High pain tolerance; lack of awareness of injury or illness
* Burns which leave a pattern outlining the object which was used to make the burn such as an iron, electric burner, heater or fireplace tool.
* Burns with a "sock" or "glove-like" appearance on hands, or feet and " doughnut:" shaped burns on the buttocks. These types of burns are usually caused by either dipping or forcing the child to sit in scalding liquid.
* "Caretaker" tendencies with corresponding self-neglect or abuse
* Childs clothing appears to be stained, torn or bloody
* Child continually hungry
* Child expresses or implies sexual activity with a parent or other adult
* Child has been diagnosed with having VD of eyes, mouth, genitalia or anus.
* Child reports pain, itching, bruises, or bleeding in the genital area
* Child shows withdrawn behaviour, refusing to participate or dress appropriately for physical activities such as swimming
* Child speaks of home with a lot of fear and anxiety, but is fearful of intervention
* Chronic bladder infections
* Chronic night terrors
* Clothing not suitable for weather conditions
* Compulsive or obsessive thoughts; rumination
* Confusion about family roles & relationships; fluctuating knowledge of family roles and relationships, occasional confusion about who is mother or father
* Confusion and/or concern about what constitutes childhood
* Consistent lack of cleanliness/or an intense obsession with cleanliness.
* Convoluted thinking; exaggerated tendency to anticipate the motives of others, especially authority figures
* Does not seem to understand play, inability to play, excessively anxious to know "rules"
* Eating disorders; food phobias, especially "red" food, meat, or herbs (anxiety response rather than simple dislike)
* Epileptic-type seizures or episodes of fainting or unconsciousness with no medical explanation
* Evidence of frequent trance states (forgetfulness, confused denial of witnessed behavior); high vulnerability to trance state induction (for example, during "storytime" or in response to poetry, music, rhythmic sounds, etc), yet phobic of "formal" hypnosis induction techniques
* Evidence that the child's physical or medical needs are not being met.
* Exaggerated startle reflex, especially followed by evidence of dissociation and/or amnesia
* Exaggerated reliance on state-dependent learning; evidence of inconsistent skills and knowledge
* Exaggerated sense of guilt and responsibility for others
* Exaggerated tendency toward age-inappropriate abstract thought or analysis with a corresponding ignorance of basic instinctual knowledge, e.g. abnormal ideas about eating , sleeping , elimination, death, identity
* Excessive superstition about numbers (especially 3, multiples of 3, 7 & 13) and symbols (especially pentagrams, crosses, circles, runes)
* Expectation that he/she will be thought "crazy", "bad" or "evil"
* Extreme compliance with authority figures; severe alienation from peers
* Extreme fluctuation in skills, behavior, appearance
* "Flat" affect; confused and/or inappropriate emotional responses, especially to scenes of violence or abuse
* Fear of being photographed
* Fear of eye contact
* Fear of physical contact, hugging, touching
* Frequent incidence of excema or other symptomatic skin disorders and non-specific skin irritations
* Frequent somatic symptoms or illness accompanied by lack of complaint (uninitiated disclosure) or awareness
* Frequent weeping without the ability to relate to a reason, or with denial of emotion
* Highly phobic with multiple triggers
* Human bite sized bites, especially those that are adult sized.
* Hyperviligilance; insomnia (only able to sleep in morning or during daylight)
* Inability to differentiate fantasy from reality
* Injuries in various stages of healing which appear in a regular pattern or are grouped together
* Lack of congruent short-term memory; confused personal history
* Lack of supervision especially in dangerous situations or while participating in activities which extend over long periods of time.
* Loss of appetite, refusal to eat
* Minimal or no ability to defend self; marked inconsistency in aggressive or self-protective abilities
* Olfactory hallucinations, especially when followed by dissociative episodes
* Precocious knowledge of metaphysics, philosophy, mythology or ethics, especially with no conscious memory of having studied these subjects); assumption that information or knowledge can "come to you" without learning
* Rapid mood swings or "simultaneous" contradictory emotions, e.g. laughing and crying, angry yet submissive
* Ritualized behavior (things must be done in a certain order or in a proscribed way in order to be "safe")
* Self-mutilation, usually hidden
* Sexually responsive to perceived "perpetrator" figures; contradictory sexual naivete, modesty, repressed sexuality with others
* Small circular burns appearing on face, arms, hands, buttocks or soles of feet which may have been inflicted by a cigar or cigarette
* Statements that imply an assumption of parallel, contradictory realities, for example that there is an "inside" world and an "outside" world with opposing rules, or that everyone performs acts that must be kept secret
* Suicidal ideation and attempts from an early age
* Tattoos or unusual scars (scalp, behind ear, palm of hand, inside thigh, over heart, next to nipples); "box scars"
* Uncharacteristic episodes of severe, unfocused anxiety, e.g. crouching on floor, rocking, nail biting, compulsive scratching or biting of the self
* Unexplained fractures to nose, face, ribs, legs or other parts of the body
* Unwanted pregnancy occurs, and child is afraid to mention partners name
* Visual hallucinations (blood, knives, animals, eyes)
* Young Child shows knowledge or interest in adult sexual behaviour, not appropriate for his age group