theres no point to even trying. things just get worse and worse and i dont feel any better. if theres no hope of feeling better any time soon then i really cant figure out how to keep trying. and there really isnt. gradual isnt soon enough. i hurt too much to even contemplate trying to commit to sticking around until the end of the month but im supposed to feel better at the thought that maybe if im lucky and i get to be pretty much the only one who goes to therapy for a while even though there are other parts who are also having trouble... even if i do get to be the main one in therapy then maybe in a few months ill feel a tiny bit better and in a few years ill make it to low average in terms of how i feel? i cant do this. i really cant.

and there isnt even anyone i can call for help or support because i need to respect that w isnt equipped to deal with this and my therapist isnt available again until thursday and she already spent time on the phone with me in addition to our regular session. and that would be the sum total of people i could call for help so im on my own with this and i really cant cope. i just cant. i really cant. i cant handle the thought of one more hour of feeling like this and theres nothing i can do.