its not fair. i am really depressed i think i am always depressed i dont have any memory of not being really depressed and sad anyway. and there are parts who are trying to get out and i WANT them to get out so they can take over. but even if they get out for a little even if they arent doing something that might be overwhelming still i keep winding up back out. i dont WANT to be out. i am depressed and just want to be dead and there isnt really anything anyone can do to help that and i dont know how to get better. maybe in therapy on tuesday but i really dont need to be out til then but instead i keep winding up being out without wanting to.
if the other parts want to be out and they arent doing anything that upsets me and they want to be here and i dont i just dont understand why i am stuck being out which doesnt make anyone happy with how things are.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
not fair
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are you out tonight? it's someone very unhappy and anxious, that's all i know. I wish I could make you feel better but you're snapping at me and I'm sort of hiding from that.
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