so i finally got convinced to try applying for disability, and we were supposed to do the interview by phone this afternoon. i'm not doing so well today (have i been doing well very often lately? does making it to the point where i'm not in the *middle* of panic attacks count?) but i was gonna go through with it. w was going to be on the phone with us, so it would've worked out ok. i think.
anyhow, she just got a call from the disability people, and they wanted to reschedule for tomorrow morning. so that at least can be put off a little longer. maybe i'll be more functional tomorrow morning. or more coherent. or something.
on the anxiety front: i realized something, as i was pondering why it seems like things have gotten so much worse. and it occurred to me: if i'm dissociating less, and becoming more aware of how i feel, physically and emotionally, then it stands to reason that i will actually go through *feeling* the things i formerly dissociated. such as physical pain (and it turns out i get a lot of that) and definitely things like anxiety or sadness or anger.
so i guess it's a good sign, that i'm feeling these more intensely.
i keep reminding myself that it's like when you're doing deep levels of organization in the house: things get WAY messier for a while, while everything gets pulled out to be put into new places. and then it gets WAY better when you're done.
i only wish it weren't taking so darned long!!
Friday, June 13, 2008
on the bright side....
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5 comments:
I hope the ssdi interview went okay and wasn't too upsetting. The entire process is unsettling for sure. I feel a need to point out one thing though...being functional and coherent is actually contradictory to getting ssdi approved. I felt the same way when I went through it though.
it was way less intimidating than i had feared. of course, i had w doing all the talking (it was a phone interview). so i didn't have to have it together enough to talk to someone.
they are mailing out a bunch of forms, and so i need to get those filled out... just hoping that i can give enough proof of my inability to work that they'll just approve me the first time around. i realize my chances of this aren't high, but i can hope.
I/we were approved on the first shot...after only 4 months when it usually takes 6 months to get a first denial! The forms are long and redundant. They seriously will ask a serious of the same questions several different ways. :P I'd be happy to help ion any way I can...I have coppies of all my application paperwork if that can be of any help.
did you have a lawyer, or did you do it on your own?
right now, i'm wondering if i've got sufficient *proof* that i'm not functional, and how to demonstrate that. what kinds of things did you use to prove you were disabled?
well, the only proof we had was what our T said on her forms (and I dont know what that was). I have heard that its important for the T ta be a psychologist though (ours is) and not a "lesser" degree.
A lot of the questions have ta do with day to day living stuff. Like "how often do you cook for yourself?" then later in the forms. "who prepares your meals?". Or "How often do you leave the house? For what activities?" then later, "Who does your grovery shopping?". I think they are trying to find inconsistencies with the questions. So it's important to make sure your answers match up. Like if ya say you only cook twice a week, but later say you prepare all your own meals...then theres gonna be questions. We were honest, but kind of expounded on things. Like when asked how much tv we watch, we put that we watch very little tv, because tv is often to upsetting and triggers switching; instead of just saying an hour a day or something like that.
We didn't have a lawyer...just our T and us.
Tomorrow I'll pull out the papers and look at them...its been a while. :P
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