i've been describing the problem as being like a panic attack that's externalized in my internal world: it doesn't seem to be coming from any part, but it's affecting all of us. or else as a tornado everywhere inside. overwhelming, chaotic. really making it difficult to manage to do anything.
the little kids say it's not a tornado, it's exploding monsters. and the monsters are exploding all the time and making a big mess and breaking things and stuff, and if you hide very still and quiet they will not come close to you or get you. but if you move or something, then the monsters will find you and they will hurt you or explode or something and you will get hurt when that happens to.
it's like an internal natural disaster, although i guess that the real world doesn't have to cope with exploding monsters (can you imagine the ads for that insurance, though?).
no one inside is really able to trust anyone or anything right now, so not much communication, because we're all focused on surviving.
i just want it to be done and over with. can't figure out how to make that happen.
Friday, September 21, 2007
not good right now
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1 comment:
jigsaw. you are not alone. i call this my "internal train wrecks." it usually happens when one or more parts are triggered inside. i posted this on my blog if you have read it. is there a part that can be responsible and try to make peace inside? maybe someone inside is not feeling heard or safe or loved or okay or feels rejected?
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